Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
