I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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