if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
