i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
