No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Text me some of your sweat
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
