I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
