Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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