We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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