I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
