My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
