Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
