this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
