Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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