Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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