Say something about gay babies.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
