He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
