Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
