im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
