Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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