I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
