That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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