What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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