i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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