Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
