ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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