but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
