Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
