i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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