If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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