turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
