I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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