The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize