why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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