so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
