Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
