dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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