you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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