Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
