Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
