btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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