The maid of honor just puked.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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