Its about making memories worth repressing
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
