thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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