she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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