How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
