You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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