4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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