Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
