I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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