Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
did you just send me my own nude
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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