how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
